Demosthenian Literary Society

Minutes: March 7, 2013

Minutes of March 7th 2013
Presented on March 21st 2013

Ladies and gentleman as you may be aware, the government is undergoing some very large cuts to itself. Never fear though eventually our friends in DC will probably figure it out and when they do the money will start flowing again. When that does happen I figured I would suggest a few projects I would like to see funded.

1. My face being added to Mount Rushmore
2. NASA
3. A NASA program to rain meteors down on other meteors (The revenge of Earth)
4. Pokemon
5. No serious creation of actual Pokemon
6. Dr. Knox’s Weather Control Machine
7. The Reaganomicon: with the Reaganomicon economies can be brought back from the dead using voodoo
8. The Death Star
9. Nationwide access to Google Fiber or some other equally useful internet
10. One word, two planets: MARVUS
11. Public Education
The meeting was called to order at 7:17. We had 3 first time guests 2 returning guests and 0 alums. Mr. Tourial served as critic.

In committee reports:
Ms. Beck: We’re rich. We got like $900 to blow on anything we want so we’ve decided to invest it in the fixing the President’s chair…..

Programs:

Orations and Declamations

In Declamations:
Mr. Thompson: On his dreams about Mitt Romney and fears of the future.

Mr. Tourial: Why get back in touch with nature when it tries so hard to kill us? Civilization rocks its got toilet paper and other cool stuff.

Ms. Dodd: On her really cool dream home with self cleaning dishes (I wish I had that right now)

Mr. O’Brian: Humanity was never meant to know defeat. You only are defeated when you give up. Never give up.

Mr. Rivkin: On the laws of war

Ms. Kabakova: A story about the adventures of her friend

Ms. Shah: The privilege of having a podium to speak on. She then presented a poem she felt embodied her life.

Mr. Theiss: On what something is worth and the problems of anti-gouging laws.

Orations:
Ms. Dodd: Shake it like a salt shaker

Mr. Tourial: “When Britain Ruled the Waves” by Sir W.S. Gilbert

Mr. Cotton: Ben Franklin’s advice on choosing a mistress.

Mr. Vey: The Television is not the truth speech from The Network

Ms. Durden: “La Vie Boheme” from Rent

Ms. Abdulhadi: “Praying for Wind”

Mr. Norton: JFK’s Inaugural Address

Mr. Fisher: “Proverbs of Hell” by William Blake

Mr. Yaqoob: Hugo Chavez’s speech to the UN about George W. Bush being the Devil.

Mr. Lucco: Kevin James’ Black Superhero introduction

Mr. Rivkin: “In Flanders Fields”

Ms. Kern: Mr. Thompson’s speech on his dreams of Mitt Romney

Ms. Crawford: “I loved you all”

Mr. Benn: “Cigars” Yes this is a poem

Dr. Knox: A selection from the novel Housekeeping

Ms. Johnson: “The Creed”

Ms. Kabakova: I’m not sure what it was but they were a bunch of funny puns and one liners.

Mr. Theiss: Patrick Henry’s “Give me Liberty or give me Death” speech

A motion to adjourn was made. The Critic was ejected. And Mr. Greene was disappointed. The Society Adjourned at 11:00 pm.

Demosthenia Prevails.